Heart on the Sleeve: Defining who we are.

 

 

 

It is believed that man is the product of his upbringing, environment and conscience. In the journey of life, man has a rough idea of what he wants, what he should do to get it and even if he does not have an idea of what he wants, he is at times clear about what he does not want. It is this knowledge of the want that keeps him going. But, in this heavy race of being at a certain place at a certain point of time with the awareness of the destination, does man think of who he is?

 

With the upbringing, environment and conscience comes another important social aspect of man’s being: his interactions. In the process of arriving at the definition of the self, interactions play a monumental part too, but this can lead to diverse results. Interacting with alcoholics can either lure a man into the nasty trap of alcoholism, or it can have a contrary effect of making him stay away from it as much as he can on account of the ill effects. Analysis, perspectives and experiences play a key part here. This makes the task of defining himself difficult for man.

 

In work, as in other fields, there is a direct relationship between efforts and rewards. When a man takes efforts in a certain direction, the merciful and almighty God smiles down on him and gives him what he wants, and similar efforts need to be taken in order to find oneself. Often, many people arrive at the conclusion of who they are by the opinions of others and by how others perceive them, while most of the time what a man is with others depends upon the kind of relationships he shares with them, and the level of intimacy changes with the dynamics of the relationship. Even so, a man’s real self is often unexposed to others and in most cases, even to himself.

 

It is said that everyone is fighting their own battles, and while man on a personal level goes through a multitude of things, he comes to a realization that so do other people. The only way to feel connected with others is to have a genuine, deep connection with oneself. One of the ways to feel that is to not base man’s opinion of himself on the basis of how others define him. Rather, to understand that he is more than a bunch of interactions and perspectives, because ultimately man knows his struggle best and opinions are seldom based on facts.

 

The fundamental question which then arises is: who knows who we are? There is no concrete answer to this question, but more often than not people introduce man to who he is not and that leads to an evolution in his understanding of himself. ‘Ockham’s razor’; meaning the method of elimination can be easily applied to come to this understanding by eliminating or removing what a man thinks he is not. It is a rule of thumb that no one is perfect, but so exists the reality that man is not essentially as bad as he sometimes thinks he is.

 

The last and final step to come to defining the self is when man wants to define himself is with scalability. How he rose from his traumas, conventional opinions of those around him and how he succeeded in making a mark in his own life are the things that eventually count. Along with that, an important part is how he dealt with those who have nothing to give him, those from whom he has no benefit whatsoever and absolutely no vested interest and how fearless he was in calling out things that were unfair to him.

 

In life, the relationship a man shares with himself determines his relationship with others. It is a man’s duty to lay this strong foundation.

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Author: Ms. Radhika Sunil Vaidya. 

E-mail i.d:   radhika.vaidya98@gmail.com

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