Heart on the Sleeve: The difference between solitude and loneliness.

 

We have all been through situations where all we want to do is come home, have a cup of coffee, unwind and listen to our favorite songs on loop, cook that one dish that makes us happy, read our favorite book and go to sleep. More often than not, our generation finds itself in this scoop of wanting to return home after having a bunch of interactions we just feel like getting done with as soon as possible. That is a classic example of loneliness creating a craving of solitude.

 

This generation is witness to the gradual evolution of technology and also a prey to its ill-effects. Result? We all want to be at home, or at some place quiet at least once in a week.

 

But this harmony of solitude is not recently discovered. Henry David Thoreau, in as early as 1854, isolated himself from his village and went on to settle at Walden, where he rented a cottage to experience solitude and documented the most mundane of his activities, which he started viewing in a completely different light once he started doing these activities all by himself. Be it folding his clothes or cooking for himself, everything took on a new dimension.

 

The modern version of ‘Walden’ can be seen in the ten-day Vipassana camps conducted by various organizations designed specially to give us all a taste to be in touch with who we are, what we want and what our purpose in life is. It is also called ‘silence therapy’ in the West. Contemporary times have gone to the extent of prescribing Vipassana as one of the modes of healing ourselves.

 

The present is filled with performers with professionalism aplenty and a complete lack of balance in the work life and personal life, surrounding themselves with colleagues very few of whom can be counted as friends leading to loneliness and a feeling of being misunderstood. One thing about this feeling: it’s universal, yet unique. Many people feel misunderstood, but they feel so for diverse reasons. Let’s say the idea is loosely based on the legendary Dr. House’s quote “It is a universal truth that everybody lies. The only difference is about what”.

 

Loneliness arises even in crowds where the feeling of being surrounded by the wrong people driving us to return home early from a party or the feeling of coming up with an idea in a circle that is not appreciative of it, essentially the feeling of not fitting in when an ocean grows inside us, but the surroundings feel shallow. This feeling arises out of the fact that we think that everyone is replaceable. The truth is, no one is. Everyone leaves a lasting impression on our hearts, but we realize it only after they are gone. Our generation in its desire to achieve everything quickly, and developing the best technologies for it, be it food, online delivery or even casual relationships at the click of a button has lost the sense of human empathy and kindness.

 

Loneliness is essentially a product of sadness, whereas the need and quest for solitude arises from the desire to know what it is that drives us, and discovering the infinite galaxies we hold within ourselves, but never show even ourselves. Solitude is the first step to value even the most quotidian tasks and look at life in a new light. A man who likes solitude can never be lonely, and someone who is lonely can never know what solitude feels like.

 

While technology makes it difficult to discover ourselves, a good way to step on the path of solitude would be to desire it. To desire it, ditch your smartphones and go back to the journal and the pen and make the paper your best friend!

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Author: Ms. Radhika Sunil Vaidya. 

E-mail i.d:   radhika.vaidya98@gmail.com

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